September 01, 2013 /24-7PressRelease/
-- Massachusetts divorce: Maintaining a relationship with your children
Every couple in Suffolk County goes through rough patches in their relationship. For some, it is a simple misunderstanding or lack of communication while for others the relationship may become too damaged to repair, leaving divorce
as the only option. If you have children, it is important to realize that this event is going to have a great impact on their lives.
Divorce and children
A recent study shows the effects that divorce has on children, especially young children. According to Medical News Today, the divorced status of a child's parents can play a great influence on the type of relationship that child has with each parent. For example, children that live with their mothers often report a distant relationship with their fathers and vice versa.
Trust is another big issue for children whose parents have divorced. The study, which involved two groups of over 7,000 participants each, revealed that when a couple divorces during a child's younger years, the child does not feel entirely secure in his relationship with his parents. The study did not investigate the reasons for these sentiments.
As a parent, the goal should be to build a long-lasting relationship with your children after you and your spouse have gone your separate ways. Many courts are now encouraging parents to share custody and engage in joint parenting
. Joint parenting gives you the opportunity to still participate in your child's life and give that child the reassurance that you still love them and are concerned for their well-being.
Even though you no longer may live with your child and the other parent there are things that you can do to make your child feel secure and confident when he or she is with you. These tips include:
-Make sure that your child has his or her own room and that it is decorated to match the child's interests.
-Have necessities on hand for your child such as toothpaste, toothbrush, hairbrush, clothing and toys to make them feel more comfortable and at home with you.
-Establish house rules and set up a chore list just as you would if the child lived with you all the time.
-Show interest in the child's personal life - review grades, work on homework assignments together and talk about friends and teachers.
-Encourage the child to have a picture of the other parent in their room.
-Do not use the child as a message carrier between you and your ex-spouse; never say disparaging things about your ex in front of your child.
Many parents make the mistake of trying to be the favorite parent by spoiling the child or making every minute a fun event. However, this can backfire, causing your child to feel pressured into choosing between you and your ex, undermining feelings of security and trust.
If you are going through a divorce, consult with an experienced attorney who can help you set up a parenting plan that will enable you to maintain a relationship with your children.
Article provided by Cunha & Holcomb, P.C.
Visit us at www.cunhaholcomb.com