SAVANNAH, GA, November 01, 2009
/24-7PressRelease/ -- The news has been inundated with stories about the outrageous behavior of Serena Williams at the U.S. Open, Kanye West at the VMA's and Joe Wilson during a joint session of Congress. Just when things seemed to be dying down, attention turned to their apologies, the manner, the style and the number of them. If anything, all three public figures were shining examples of how not to apologize.
According to business etiquette expert, Lydia Ramsey, there is an art to the apology. When done correctly, an apology can enhance a relationship but it's amazing how many people don't know how or when to apologize.
Ramsey offers eight tips for a successful apology.
#1. Say, "I'm sorry." In spite of what your lawyer may have told you, those should be the first words out of your mouth.
#2. Be sincere. Your body language and tone of voice need to match your words. People believe what they see over what they hear. Look, sound and feel genuinely sorry.
#3. React quickly. An apology that is several days old loses its credibility and effectiveness.
#4. Drop the excuses. Take responsibility for whatever you said or did. You weaken your apology when you start piling on excuses like Serena, who in apology number two said that "In the heat of battle, I let my passion and emotion get the better of me and as a result handled the situation poorly." That was a lame attempt at an excuse and not a hint of "I'm sorry" or "I was wrong."
#5. Make amends. Do whatever you can do to set things right. Lydia recently sent one of her products to a customer. The item did not arrive on the day it was promised and she had an unhappy individual on her hands. To set things right, she apologized and offered to send a replacement by overnight delivery. There was a significant cost to her, but she won over a customer who will now come back for additional products or services.
#6. Don't get defensive. Once you get your dander up, you are headed for trouble and will only make the situation worse. One of Lydia's favorite sayings is "Never argue with an idiot. Those watching may not be able to tell the difference."
#7. Listen without interrupting. When customers get upset, they need to vent. Often they require something to chew on and that may be you. Let them vent. You may learn something important from what they say.
#8. Finally, don't go overboard and over-apologize. Make your first apology your last. Say what you need to say and do what you need to do to make things right, then move on. You will only make things seem worse by apologizing over and over again.
People can come up with any number of reasons not to apologize, but there are just as many for saying "I'm sorry." Number one on that list is because it is the right thing to do. Serena, Kanye and Joe take note.
About Lydia Ramsey, Inc.
Lydia Ramsey helps people promote themselves by showing them how to keep their feet out of their mouths and egg off of their faces. A business etiquette expert, author, speaker and premier trainer, she has reached thousands of people with her presentations and is available for for interviews and speaking engagements. Lydia is the author of Manners That Sell - Adding The Polish That Builds Profits and Lydia Ramsey's Little Book of Table Manners.
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