LOS ANGELES, CA, November 09, 2008
/24-7PressRelease/ -- According to President-Elect Barack Obama's news conference, a majority of hits on the Barack Obama web page concern interest in the pending First Pet. Given the intersection of Pet News and Mr. Obama's impending Presidency, Gothic Dog thought it a perfect time to get their official SpokesDog's, Gracie, take on the new President, the First Pet, and Mr. Obama's forthcoming Cabinet selections.
Gracie, self-described as an indulged, and possibly spoiled, chihuahua, insists that she has four paws on the ground in matters relating to the benefit of our country. She first noted her availability for White House duty, if a gorgeous Chihuahua is what the Obama girls are looking for. While Malia Obama is allergic to dogs, Gracie points out her low shedding nature and promises to keep her dander to a minimum.
More importantly, however, Gracie insists that she is a policy hound, so to speak, and would make a much more attractive, and knowledgeable, lapdog to the President than Senator Biden. With Mr. Obama elected and soon to take residence in the White House, the questioning turned to his potential Cabinet selections. Gracie insisted that the best way to evaluate a potential Cabinet member was to, quite simply, assess their "pet issues," as she put it.
Ms. Gracie rattled off several names which, she maintains, have the "inside track" for Mr. Obama's Cabinet: Hilary Clinton, Bill Richardson, Tom Daschle, Chuck Hagel, Richard Lugar and, perhaps shockingly, Mitt Romney, Mike Huckabee and Rudy Giuliani.
In explaining her evaluation technique, Gracie said: "Hilary Clinton, or some other dreadfully serious person will ask us to believe that this new pet du jour is their most beloved old friend, and trusted confidant. That's where my recent brainstorming comes in: I decided to do a little digging; to see which of these pretenders to the cabinet positions put their money where their canine mouths are. Are you with me? In other words, let's find out who really has a companion worthy of the front page, and which of these windbags just trotted over to 'Rent-a-Pet' as they set out to campaign for a position as Secretary of the Really Important."
Gracie continued, urging readers to refrain from trying to read into her comments her political leanings, as she insisted that political leanings "are so bourgeois," although she did frown upon current First Dog, President Bush's Barney, biting a Reuters reporter. Gracie added that "one must stay abreast of these things, if for no other reason than to add the occasional bon mot at the martini bowl."
Gracie first assessed Senator Clinton's prospects for a Cabinet position. "This one really puts the Tabasco in my kibble, if you catch my meaning. Hilary Clinton. If it wasn't bad enough that she let her Labrador, Buddy, get run over by a car when she moved to New York, she dumped, and I do mean d-u-m-p-e-d, as in a home-wrecking-Hollywood-actress-broke-up-my-marriage dumped, her cat Socks on Presidential secretary Betty Currie when the Clintons left the White House. As you all know, this Chihuahua is no friend of the cat, but even I have to draw the line when such mercenary use is made of a feline. It's said that Socks was purchased when the Clintons' U-Haul arrived in D.C. to soften the former First Lady's image, and Hilary rid herself of the cat when her image no longer needed such softening or, more likely, she realized that a simple-minded furball spitter wasn't going to accomplish the impossible. Obviously, she's out. No self-respecting sensational canine could condone such behavior toward loyal pet constituency. And a word to the chocolate lab named Seamus currently living with the Clintons: don't cross any streets, and insist on Secret Service protection at all times."
Gracie then analyzed Bill Richardson. "He has two cats, both tabbys, named Jackie and Squeaky. Not exactly a ringing endorsement of the man who has his finger on 'the button' and is responsible for protecting our considerable real estate holdings, but perhaps satisfactory for a mere cabinet position. I suppose I could have made a concession if they were named Tank and Anti-Terrorism . . . but Jackie and Squeaky? Good Lord."
As to Tom Daschle, Gracie insisted that his documented deep love of cats did not bode well for a productive Cabinet performance. On the other hand, Chuck Hagel's well known love of his Portuguese Water Dog impressed Gracie as a compelling indication of the highest qualification for President-Elect Obama's Cabinet: dog-lover.
Crossing the aisle, Gracie lauded Richard Lugar's consistent support of the Animal Welfare Act and the Pet Safety and Protection Act, noting that the support makes him "a safe choice for us dogs."
Gracie expressed a soft spot for former Presidential-hopeful, Mike Huckabee: "Be still my tiny racing heart. I must just heart a Huckabee. Darlings, this Mike Huckabee has a hunting dog, a Lab, named Jet and a shih tzu named Sonic. This man obviously has a thing for dogs. Any man with a love for dogs can't be all bad, even if he does appear to be a far-right, fundamentalist-leaning, Christian conservative, who might force me to pray when I go to post-graduate doggie school, and carry a gun, wait, I already carry a gun -- a absurdly cute platinum derringer, and waive many of my civil rights."
As to Mitt Romney, while his staff is quoted as stating that "his wife owns horses," Gracie informed us that "any man that doesn't step up and proudly proclaim his half of the responsibility for pampering our enormous four-legged equine friends is certainly not Cabinet material."
Finally, Gracie insisted that "while a man can lead a city out of danger and into a new era, apparently that just drains too much energy to curl up on the sofa with a faithful friend. Former New York Mayor Rudy Giuliani has no pets. None. Au revoir, mon ami. No doggie . . . no votie."
Returning to the topic of the soon-to-be First Pet, Gracie told us that she earns her keep as a doggie model for Gothic Dog and Pupscale Couture, she would proudly donate one of Gothic Dog's luxury chenille and sequined "VOTE" sweaters to the incoming pup. Gracie concluded her remarks by promising that: "If Mr. Obama would like to indulge his family's new four legged addition, I'll donate a customized version of our best-selling Bensley's Skull and Crossbones charm with rubies, sapphires, and diamonds. Even dogs need to don red, white and blue."
For more information, call Gothic Dog at 1-310-866-3920 (USA) or visit Gothic Dog's website at http://www.gothicdog.com.
Contact: Alison Longyear
Phone: 1-310-866-3920 (USA)
Email: press@gothicdog.com
---
Press release service and press release distribution provided by http://www.24-7pressrelease.com# # #
- appointments, cabinet, couture, dog, family, first, gothic, house, like, mutt, non-allergenic, obama, pet, pets, pupscale, selections, white
Read more Press Releases from Alison Longyear:Other Press Release Headlines:
