BOURNEMOUTH, ENGLAND, December 18, 2009
/24-7PressRelease/ -- An ever-increasing number of people are wondering if a husband or wife is having an affair. You might be wondering if your husband or wife is cheating on you or you could be concerned for a friend. In today's world, adultery is becoming common and even accepted, especially with websites existing solely to bring people together for affairs.
On such websites, people actually advertise themselves as wanting to have an affair because they are unhappy in their marriage or are sexual addicts.
I realize that you may be in some degree of fear, frustration or sorrow as you read this article. For that, I offer my deepest sympathy.
I can, however, offer the following information as a tool for you to use in determining the likelihood of whether or not a spouse is cheating. It might require some detective work on your part, but knowing if your spouse is being unfaithful to you is worth the work.
Phone Usage and Typical Patterns of Cheating Husbands and Wives If you already think your spouse is having an affair, you should add an item to your list of clues if you notice that your spouse turns off his/her cell phone when with you or leaves the room when taking or making calls. He/she might even become angry if you answer their cell phone.
Check the cell phone bill for calls made. Often times these calls are in the morning of the evening while your husband/wife is driving to and from work. The only good thing about a cell phone bill is that it lists all the calls made in a billing cycle. Most cheaters consider a cell phone to be a necessity because it allows them to make calls while driving and away from home, but if he or she does not have one, you might want to buy them one just so you can track their calls.
Another detail to examine on a cell phone bill would be extremely long calls. Sometimes such calls can be for business matters, but if your spouse is in a profession that doesn't require a great deal of cell phone use, or if the cell phone use has increased for no apparent reason, you have logical reason to be suspicious.
Also take note if you receive an unusual amount of wrong number or hang up calls to your home phone and especially if you notice his or her cell phone ring immediately after someone hung up when you answered. Your spouse may also occasionally hang up suddenly when you enter the home or a room.
The Computer: An Ally and an Enemy
The computer can be a tool for a cheating spouse, but can act as a double agent in that it can serve to catch the adulterous person as well. Software exists to collect, save and report all activity on a computer. This software, called key logger software can be obtained from Seagal Investigations and provides a good discreet starting point to eliminate your doubts.
Computer Behaviour of a Cheater
Cheaters will delete their Internet history if they know how (most do). If you notice that history has been deleted when you are certain the suspect has been online, your spouse is hiding something. Another clue is if he or she demands privacy when on a computer and often closes a screen when you "accidently" walk in. This may also tell you that your spouse is viewing pornography or chatting to other people online, which in my opinion is digital adultery that could lead to physical adultery.
If you notice that your spouse loses interest in sex after being on the computer, it could be that he or she has masturbated with an online sex partner or from viewing pornography. So if your spouse usually has a healthy and active attitude towards sex except after a lengthy computer session, the math might be laid out for you that he or she has found another outlet.
Money Clues
As marriage expert Joe Beam says, "Sin is expensive." He has also warned on his Give and Take relationship radio show that high credit card debt can be a sign of someone having an affair.
You need to look for credit/debit card bills containing unusual expenses that may be gifts. That includes jewelry, travel, cosmetic products, perfume, florist items and lingerie. But if he's a smart cheater, he'll have lots of cash on him without good reason (check the bank statement for larger than usual cash withdrawls). You may also notice an increase in fuel purchases on the credit/debit card that add up to more miles than your husband or wife should be driving. Take note of the daily mileage so you can notice unexplained increases.
Physical Changes
It's common for a man or woman having an affair to alter his or her personal appearance to the likes of the lover. She might get a new hairstyle, visit the tanning salon, change perfume, buy large amounts of new clothes including lingerie and sexy underwear. He might join a gym, begin or increase taking Viagra without increasing lovemaking sessions with his wife, shave body hair or begin using a product to color his gray hair or a gel to restyle it. Though there is nothing inherently wrong with these actions, if they exist along with other clues, you may have a cheater on your hands.
Relational Changes
Suddenly your spouse seems uninterested in your relationship and has fewer conversations with you. He or she makes spontaneous plans that don't include you and give you little time to object. The cheating spouse may ask specific details about your schedule for no apparent reason.
Sex between the cheater and spouse may increase or decrease. He or she may request different kinds of sex or suggest a threesome or swinging. Often times cheaters do not want to share baths or sleep while embracing their spouse. This is likely because they do not feel the emotional bond with you, but with the lover (don't worry, we can help--keep reading).
Family Time Changes
A husband or wife having an affair often loses interest in family events that involve the children. Yet lack of family time may lead to extravagant gift purchases for the children and unusual increases in time spent with them in order to appease the cheater's guilt.
At the Office
If your spouse comes home later than usual and becomes angry when you ask the reason, there's probably a problem. Look for recent hires at work and if they are of the opposite sex, ask your spouse about them. For example, if there's a new woman at work, ask him if he thinks she's pretty. If he's says no but when you meet her she is very pretty, you may have a cheater. After all, why would he lie about her looks? The answer is that he doesn't want you be suspicious of his relationship with her. An innocent man would be honest if in a healthy relationship. He would say something like, "She's pretty, but not as pretty as you."
When you get home
When you get home after the suspected cheater has been there "alone" look for the following clues to see if he or she has had an encounter with the lover:
• The bed sheets look as though more than one person has been laying on it and, perhaps, moving around.
• For men, if the toilet seat is up when you get home, but down when you left.
• The shower has been used during the day for no apparent reason (to remove perfume, sexual scents or sweat by cheater or lover).
• The tooth brush or mouthwash has been used in the middle of the day, though this is not a usual habit.
• Check the rubbish bin locations for condoms. Remember, a smart cheater might not put them in an easily visible bin.
• The window blinds/curtains in your room were open when you left, but are now closed even though it's the middle of the day.
Conclusion
You may find many of the clues in this article and yet your spouse MAY still be faithful. Nothing short of catching your spouse with the lover will prove beyond a doubt that an affair is taking place. But usually your suspicions are correct.
For more details visit: http://www.seagalinvestigations.co.uk/matrimonial.html
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