EAST PERTH, AUSTRALIA, January 08, 2014 /24-7PressRelease/
-- After raising children for decades together, many couples struggle with being "a couple" after their children move out of the family home. Being a mum and a dad raising children is completely different to being a husband and wife alone together after years of having children as the major focus. While many marriages become stronger, others suffer after the children leave the nest.
Many couples say they can't wait until their children leave home, but when it really happens they are quite surprised at the feelings of loneliness and sadness. Even though they make plans for years looking forward to the "just us" stage, when it finally happens it's usually much different than they ever imagined. When stay-at-home mums suddenly have no children to attend to, they are lonely and scared. Husbands may not understand this, as mum may have complained over the years about having no time to herself.
When children leave the family home, couples are forced to examine how they feel about each other, how they feel about their marriage and if they are really strong enough to be together with the children no longer around.
Here are some questions to consider when discussing marriage after your children leave the family home:
1. Do you have the time and focus to devote to your marriage? You may have the physical time to devote to your marriage, but do you have the emotional time? You have to be willing to reinvest yourself into your marriage. This is a time to get to know each other all over again after so many years of marriage and so many years of raising children together. It's easy to blame one another for what didn't work over the years, and finding the energy to start over to be parents and spouses in the second stage of your life can be challenging
2.Are you emotionally connected? Do you have anything in common besides your children? It's time to find ways to connect with one another. Remember what you did before you had children. Find these activities and start to enjoy them again. If you used to love going dancing together, do it again! If you want to learn to scuba dive together, set up weekly classes and go for it!
3. Mums need to let their husbands be men, not their children: just because your children left, doesn't mean you have to replace the care giving. It's important not to treat your husband like a child by making him lunch, cleaning up after him and generally treating him as your 'replacement' child. Treat him like the partner he is...your husband. Kiss him when comes home, make dinner with him, clean the house with him,-collaborate on activities ...don't do it all for him.
It is possible to have a happy, healthy marriage after children move out of the family home. Rediscovering one another and rekindling the romance of the early days of the relationship are the best ways to ensure that your marriage can make it, after your children leave the nest.
By Keith Flynn, Hypnotherapist, specializing in working with women reclaim their lives when their children leave the nest.
For more information, please visit: http://www.keithflynn.com.au
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