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WILMINGTON, NC, October 22, 2021 /24-7PressRelease/ -- While it is important for all of us to learn how to control our anger, it is even more important for the alcoholic or drug addict. Harriet Hunter, award-winning bestselling author of Miracles of Recovery: Daily Meditations of Hope, Courage and Faith." recently posted a piece in which she offered 12 ways to express positive control when angry. While directed specifically at those in or on the way to recovery, the piece offers rock-solid advice that can be used by anyone. That piece of Harriet's story reads in part:
"I grew up an angry child. The older I became, the more resentful I was with everyone. I trusted no one. Absorbing the hate of those around me, I became a hateful, self-destructive victim. Without tools to cope with frustration and anger, except for drugs and alcohol, I descended into hopelessness. Addictions suppressed my anger as it festered and grew stronger. I didn't want to feel; I wanted to escape everyone, including me. My drugs of choice did that for me.
Anger was A Nasty Getting Even Response, and I had it down to perfection. After years of hatred, eating anger's poison and hoping others would die, anger told me, "I'll show you, I'll kill me!" Recovery came not one minute too soon."
"You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger."—Buddha
"For as long as we blame everyone else, do we stay a prisoner to our misery, convinced that anger is the only way we can get attention or sympathy. We stay the victim with self-imposed rights to remain that way. Working with professionals and loving sponsors helps us to accept responsibility for the harms we've done to others. We found that as soon as we let go of selfish, self-centered anger, that these emotions hurt no one as much as it hurt us. As others walked away, we were the ones who hung on to the power and excitement of anger's poison fueled by our disease of addiction."
How Important Is Anger?
When we ask, "How important is anger?" we remind ourselves that our hard- fought serenity and peace must be non-negotiable, without exception. Anger must go. We promptly admit when we are in the wrong and make amends to correct the situation. After all, this is our program, no one else's.
What recourse do we have? Here we learn to Live and Let Live. We must, because the alcoholic/addict in or out of active addiction or without a program is like a lion chasing its prey. Anger becomes focused and relentless, out of control insane; and, if not checked, we can and often do, hurt others physically or emotionally through our words.
With practice, we learn to pause when agitated or doubtful and remember that This Too, Shall Pass. These actions, together with constant contact with our Higher Power, help to ensure the distance necessary to dissipate our anger, and the poisonous damage it causes us and others.
How Can We Get Rid of Anger?
1. Give Yourself a Break. Why should we allow others to zap what precious energy we have and live rent free in our heads? Just STOP. Get up, take a walk and choose gratitude instead.
2. Stop Talking About it! To yourself or to anyone else. All we do is give away our power and make the incident/event bigger than it really is. Instead, make what is positive in your life larger.
3. Pause: Our AA literature reminds us to, "Pause when agitated or doubtful." When we're agitated or doubtful, chances are we're also in fear: fear of not being accepted, fear of being rejected, fear of someone getting something we think belongs to us, and so on.
4. Practice Gratitude: Part of learning the lesson to let go of negativity begins with our ability, in the worst of times, to find the light of gratitude instead of anger. Focused positivity makes gratitude bigger, more important than our disappointments and anger. When we focus and bring forth positivity, we see the strength in our own resolve and how much self-control we own as we look to come out the other side of a dark situation. Practice makes progress. This example reduces the impact and severity of our defects and personal disappointments because we've made the necessary shift: a conscious decision to seek the light and power of our determined resolve. In so doing, we rise to the challenge of peace, instead of the rabbit hole of negativity.
5. Journal FEAR: There are lots of reasons people don't like to journal. One reason is we feel afraid of what we will see. To journal fear (False Evidence Appearing Real) is to risk laying open a path to our deepest selves. This is the best route to ask hard questions. When we begin this fact-finding mission, the likelihood is that our new truths will set us free. There exists, as we journal, a comfort we can accept a middle ground surrounding angry situations when we ask ourselves a few questions:
• What is it about this situation that makes me angry?
• What would make it different?
• What have I contributed to encourage this end result?
• How have I encouraged my own anger?
• Instead of reveling in the knee-jerk reaction of anger, how can I choose a position that is most
beneficial and comforting to me?
Is the specific situation of anger and all of its parts TRUE, or is it FALSE. If false, what hasn't happened yet? (This is False Evidence Appearing Real!) We may assume, imagine, or contrive someone has it out for us, but has it happened in fact? These questions help us to let go of what is not our reality.
The more questions we ask, the easier it is to see the big picture and the truth of what led up to the outcome of anger. Ask, "Do I want to be happy or do I want to be right?" This, for many, is the turning point to move away from angry to compromising. In order to be right, our anger must first morph itself into self-righteous indignation. With self-righteous indignation is the false-belief that others deserve more negative consequences. It is in this obsessed thinking that rage manifests itself by crossing the invisible line to indiscriminate aggression.
6. STOP Playing the Victim: We fall victims when we internalize delusional fear and visualize taking on dangerous even paranoid outcomes. We remember that if we are in active addition to begin with, our thinking is delusional, over-exaggerated and walking on the edge of insanity!
7. "How Important Is it?" (really…) If your child's bedroom is a mess and you become angry close the door. If you don't like the way your husband or wife does something, do it yourself. Ask the question, "Is this something that will matter 24 hours from now?" Most of the time, nothing brings itself to the level of urgency of now.
8. Do Something Different: Give that anger something to do: take a walk, exercise, sit down, eyes closed and pray and meditate for five minutes. DO some THING that points you to a place of easy breathing and positive change for you.
9. Get Creative: If you have a mere 24 hours to live, make a list of events you would like to be a part of and do them.
10. Create a Special Mantra Just for you that speaks to the essence of who you want to be in the moment. "I deserve to focus on my serenity and nothing else matters," will give you an idea, but only you know what will move you. Write this mantra ten times and if it doesn't feel comfortable, find another and then keep it in your pocket. Not only will it help remind you that, "This too, shall pass," it becomes your own personal guide of assurance.
11. Express your anger: It's OK to say how you feel, as long as you handle it in the right way. We all get angry because it's a part of our being human. The difference becomes, what it is we DO with that anger. Ask a trusted friend to help you find a calm resolution. Outbursts solve no problems, but mature dialogue can help reduce stress and ease the threat of anger. It may also prevent future problems.
12. Give yourself space and time to gain distance from the event that caused the anger. Time may not heal all wounds, however, if you have tried all the above, and ideas of your own, allow only 48-hours to feel as angry as the moments you were first engaged. After 48 hours, consider help in either letting it go or seek help from a mental health professional. We're remembering our goal is to be rid of anger.
More information on this and many other topics is available at Hunter's website at http://www.harriethunter.org.
While there are many treatment approaches and programs, what is common to all successful individuals within a substance abuse program is the shared pain and the loneliness, oftentimes with an ongoing support system for the person battling the disease. That support system is what Harriet Hunter offers in "Miracles of Recovery: Daily Meditations of Hope, Courage and Faith."
Featuring 365-daily inspirations. Miracles of Recovery was written not just for those addicted, but for the parents, the spouses - anyone touched by the disease because addiction is absolutely a family affair. Using the foundation of 12-Step Recovery, Miracles of Recovery embraces holistic suggestions as a practical approach for those who must face life on life's terms, clean and sober. Encouraging and thought-provoking, Miracles of Recovery inspires with Universal Truths, "because," Harriet says, "Once we know better, we do better."
Miracles of Recovery is written to show through personal examples how to achieve long-term sobriety by embracing new behavior and positive reinforcement, regardless of what happens in one's life. She offers a personal, sometimes raw reflection of the truth about addiction seldom seen elsewhere.
Tools necessary to maintain sobriety and change one's life through changing one's perspective are also proposed. It suggests that readers "Do life differently," through exercises, solutions, and methods to improve self-esteem, confidence, and embrace a profound sense of hope needed to succeed. The author spurs the reader to embrace the belief that, regardless of challenges life presents, "NOTHING can change the course of recovery when you keep yourself, your sobriety, and your Higher Power first in your lives." In short, Miracles of Recovery offers hope where there is none through a simple program of actions for complicated people.
Hunter has received rave reviews for her work from readers and reviewers alike. Vernita Taylor of Readers Favorite stated, "Miracles of Recovery: Daily Meditations of Hope, Courage, and Faith by Harriet Hunter is a great choice if you're struggling with addiction because it offers a full year of inspiration and affirmations which I enjoyed. I see this book as a mentor or sponsor that is walking by your side and helping to lead you to a better, more improved you while teaching you how to deal with your stressors. The best teacher is someone who has been there and done that, and this book doesn't disappoint. The author knows first-hand what it takes and how it feels to be addicted, and the journey to recovery. If you need help along your journey, pick up a copy of this book; it's highly recommended."
Anthony Capozzolli of Dismantled Life Podcast said, "Miracles of Recovery has been a feast for my recovering soul. Every page is filled with love and helpful insights that lead to discovery. I read each page by date and randomly turn to other pages for an additional spiritual hug when I need one. It's almost as if Harriet wrote her wonderful book for me. Page after page hits so close to home I often tear up from positive awareness and clarity of emotion."
Miracles of Recovery received the first place President's Award in nonfiction from the Florida Authors and Publishers Association.
Since her walk into recovery in 1999, Harriet has had one primary purpose: to show others how they can achieve their miracles while staying sober with a vision and determination to never go backwards, one day at a time.
Using her experience strength and hope, Harriet strives to be a conduit of encouragement to others in their disease of alcoholism and drugs of choice, by showing them what continues to work. With practical tools, principles and promises as found in A.A., and other 12-step programs, she mirrors examples of how anyone can be free from the bondage of self, regardless of their situation.
With a purchase of a signed copy of Miracles of Recovery from her website, Hunter provides a no-charge copy of "Your Daily Reprieve; How To Maintain Long-Term Sobriety Serenely Just For Today" in PDF format.
Harriet Hunter has developed a six-module course for individuals who thrive on personal insight and emotional growth as they seek to connect the dots of their lives. Journaling with a Purpose! is a thought-provoking, sometimes intensive exercise for self-seekers who want more from lives. Its focus is both emotionally therapeutic and entertaining, as participants look inside themselves for resilient, positive changes to solutions and characteristics they expect more from. Harriet is never far away. She hosts web-based meetings, while delivering videos, offers no-charge gifts, handouts and many prompts that encourages and explains what the writer can expect with each module.
Additionally, a new Miracles of Recovery ZOOM meeting is held the 1st Fridays of the month. More on this topic is available at her website at http://www.harriethunter.org.
Harriet Hunter is available for media interviews and speaking engagements and can be contacted using the information below or by email at [email protected]. More information, including the journaling course, no-charge audios, ebooks, handouts and other gifts can be found by visiting https://www.harriethunter.org.
About Harriet Hunter:
With over 21 years of sobriety, Harriet has worked with hundreds of women who suffer with alcoholism and drug addiction to help them find peace in active sobriety. She facilitates AA meetings for women incarcerated, and sponsors women both face-to-face and on line. Readers can find her in the global recovery site, InTheRooms.com, where she's been given her own room and brings Miracles to life each Sunday at 2;00 P.M. EST.
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